It wasn't weird to sit under my husband's preaching. I guess because we have been doing family Bible study together and I have often referred to him as my "personal preacher", I wasn't surprised by the way he spoke. He is my hubby, after all. :)
Sunday night was a long time coming. I can't speak for Joshua, although I do believe he has felt The Lord dealing with him about this since he was a teenager. I do know, however, that I began thinking about it a few years ago. I kept it to myself, because I had often heard of these "wifey called" or "mama called" preachers and I didn't want to be guilty of that. Besides, I had plenty of friends who were preachers or married to preachers ... I thought maybe I was just thinking about it since so many people that I knew were doing the same thing! I prayed about it and asked The Lord to prepare me for whatever was to come and I trusted he would show us in his time. He allowed us to experience leadership through directing a Christmas play and eventually taking over the music ministry. He allowed us to experience some disappointments and failures, I guess to thicken our skin a little. And through time, that feeling continued to get more and more intense. I still kept quiet and didn't tell my husband what I was thinking - even when he would say, "maybe God will have me preaching." I wasn't going to push. It wasn't my call to make!
Little did I know, my husband felt the same way. I guess when there is something for you to do and you're scared of it, it's easier to run if no one knows what's going on. Saying the words makes it all too real. I don't remember exactly how it came up, but we had a heart to heart one day and we shared with each other what had been going through our hearts and minds. I told Josh that I felt so guilty for wanting to be a preacher's wife, because I didn't want it to seem like I just wanted a position of "power" or something. (I didn't. I've learned from the women I've been watching silently that it's often not a glamorous life, but one of humility and service.) He assured me that it was okay to have that desire, that the Bible even says it's a good thing to desire the office of a bishop.
We still took our time and prayed about what The Lord would want. Joshua counseled with our pastor numerous times and eventually came to the conclusion that he just needed to do it and see what happens. He was terrified of making the wrong decision, of surrendering and then maybe realizing later that wasn't what God wanted. But he could also say he knew that's what God wanted. It was scary! Kinda like when you're getting ready to jump into a pool of water and you don't know what the temperature will be ... "Maybe I should, maybe I shouldn't." Honestly, I'm glad it was scary for him and that this wasn't some hasty decision he made on a whim. He truly sought The Lord on this and I believe God gave him the answer he was seeking.
All of that came to a head Sunday night. I can't explain it, I guess it just seemed right. When we got into our car to leave afterward, I asked him if it helped answer any questions or give him clarity. He answered, "this is a permanent thing." He looked so relieved to have finally done it. I can't even tell you. I wasn't there when he got saved, but I'm betting this was pretty close to that moment. (He also compared it to proposing to me, the other terrifying moment of his life. Haha!!)
Now that we've gotten the whole jumping off of a cliff part over, we are just trusting in The Lord to show us where to go from here. We are still involved in music at our church, amongst other things we do. We want to dedicate our lives to serving and lifting up others. We have children to raise in the nuture and admonition of The Lord! And we want to grow closer to God in a deeper walk with Him. I'm very excited to see what He has in store, but I'm also staying focused on the present and everything we have going on now.
So, that's our story from my end. There is so much more to share and talk about, but since I've already written a book here, I'll share more at a later date. I figure someone out there can find encouragement one of these days from our experiences in our Christian walk and ministry, just like I have from the dear women I've been watching these past few years. :)