Many days I try doing it within my own power. I wake up and get right to housework, automatically hearing complaints, cleaning messes, and breaking up fights over toys. By the time the kids lay down for a nap, I'm worn out and so discouraged over how things have went. I wonder what I'm doing wrong!
My husband always says that instead of feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren't going the way we desire, we should try changing it. I can't change things on my own. I've been there and done that with a nasty crash and burn. Thankfully, I am not alone. I have the Holy Spirit with me at all times and unfortunately, I take that grace for granted. However, I know and have known since I was saved that when I give my day to Him (more than once often times), my outlook on these crazy days change. I have hope. I have joy. And I have that strength to get up and fight back.
My life has gotten so busy in the past two years that it's been harder and harder to spend time with The Lord like I need to. That's life. I just need to reprioritize and get back to the first works, as the Bible describes.
I also need to get my mind off of me. All of this often gets me feeling sorry for myself and wondering if anyone out there ever feels like they are completely going to lose it. As I walked through my little neighborhood lastnight, praying and trying to clear my head after a bad day, The Lord prompted me to pray for all of the mothers I could think of. Mothers who have young children, mothers who have grown children, and even grandmothers who pray diligently for their grand babies. My heart began to be comforted by knowing I'm not the only one who faces obstacles and I began to feel for these women who deal with so much, if not more than me. I was blessed by their testimonies to stay strong in The Lord in spite of what is thrown their way. I began to think of ways I could bless and serve someone else, rather than always keeping my mind on my problems. Those women don't know it, but they were with me lastnight and my prayers were with them. It made such a huge difference in my outlook on everything.
As I was reading my Bible this morning, I came across a verse I marked during campmeeting at Maryville this year: "But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us." - 2 Corinthians 4:7 (the note said, "our pot, His power") I'm not a perfect mom and I never will be. My kids will never be perfect either. We are going to have our days, they are going to frustrate and disappoint me. However, I have the power of the Holy Spirit to be better, to fight back, to not faint. I must not take this power for granted, but instead embrace it and watch it work through my life.
I thank God for always being my dearest friend, for hearing my prayers even when I'm at my worst. I thank Him for His written Word that can speak to me and encourage me when I'm so down. I am thankful that He saved me five years ago and since that moment I have never been alone.
Life is crazy, but God is good.