Proverbs 12:4 A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
My friend has this as her signature on her text messages and today I got curious to see which verse it was! I suppose this means her desire is to be a woman who honors and reverences her husband, as the Bible tells women to. It's always a nice encouragement to see a woman share the same desire that I have, especially in a world where Biblical womanhood is being redefined.
With that said, this verse says so much! A virtuous woman, a woman who does her best to follow The Lord and His will, is a crown to her husband. She brings honor to him! He is proud of his wife and the woman she is, the woman she strives to be. A crown is a symbol of the highest marking a person can have! The woman makes her man feel like a king when she is wholeheartedly pursuing the will of God. The husband is thrilled at the sight of his wife working hard and diligently trying to be the woman God wants her to be.
We see that word "but" and get a little nervous, don't we?
She that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
The first part of the verse is the goal. We see it and we are like, "oh yeah, my husband thinks I'm AWESOME!" And then that stinky old second part comes and we start to ask ourselves questions. We start to look inward and wonder, "do I make my husband ashamed?"
*sinking into the chair as I cringe a little*
Do I make my husband ashamed?
It doesn't matter how clean I keep the house or how good my cookin' is, if I'm not following him or The Lord with a submissive spirit, I'm not in the will of God! Now, my desire is to not make him ashamed, but sometimes it just happens in the run of things. Sometimes I'm too impatient to hear what he has to say or trust his judgement. Or maybe I get selfish and get my eyes on my own thing, worrying less about him and the needs of our family. I get tired because the work of it all gets to be too much and I'd really rather just quit.
Even though we all have our struggles, a woman's goal ought to be to make her husband proud. I don't see why that's so taboo! We achieve our goals and push ourselves to be the very best we can be, by God's grace. At the end of the day, we have a proud man saying, "yep, she's mine."
This can apply in so many different facets in the relationship between a man and woman and marriage. Maybe in the way we take care of ourselves, taking care of our children, overcoming obstacles, or how we want others to perceive our family as a whole. A woman's goal ought to be to honor her husband and make him proud to be her husband. If we are truly following The Lord and allowing him to direct our paths, we are doing our absolute best to ensure that this happens!
I've often said my husband is my greatest encouragement, my coach. It means the world to me when I know he's proud, when he has seen me put forth my best. He cheers me on when no one else takes me seriously! He is there when I fail, when I disappoint him. (Don't be disillusioned about marriage being a fairy tale - you WILL fail each other!) He forgives me, loves me anyhow, prays for me, and gives me scripture to get me back up. (Man, I love marriage. What a blessed institution!) And it's an awesome feeling when he has a proud little smirk on his face, like I'm the best wife in the world. (To him, I better be!)
Making my husband proud is one of my biggest goals in being a Christian wife. He is what keeps me going on the rough days. Thank God for Godly husbands!