I am kinda nervous about having a toddler and a baby.
I mean, I know it isn't like it was before I had Constance. I thought my life would basically end with a new baby and sleepless nights. But we got through it. Breastfeeding woes, late night fights (it gets tense when you have little sleep and your spouse is just as headstrong as you are), a crying baby and not knowing at all what to do. We got through it. We made some amazing memories. And I often miss those days.
However, I like the fact that Constance sleeps all night to a wonderful hour of 8am. I like that she is no longer needing a zillion diaper changes a day. I like that she is more independent and learning to do things on her own. I like that it is not hard to get out of the door anymore.
A new baby ... will he have colic? Will he want to be nursed fifty million times a day? Will I ever be able to get out with the both of them alone? Will I have post partum depression? Will I be able to nurse exclusively like I did with C? How will a new baby affect our busy lifestyles? Will I freak when I realize Constance is no longer my only baby, that very realization aging her somehow?
I know we'll get through it. I know that I have an amazing husband who rocks fatherhood like a champ. I have family who is supportive and understanding.
I am just a little scared.
Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed by being a mother of one, I don't know if I will do a good job at taking care of two.
But I did go from a selfish lifestyle of none to one. I survived and came out better because of it.
And really that is just the beginning.
I know these are just normal mom fears. I just feel liberty in admitting it.