- Dazed and Confused
Sophomore year, accounting class. :)
It's funny that I use a quote from Dazed and Confused to describe high school, because I kind of hoped that high school would be that way. I was a rebellious kid in eighth grade. Or I wanted to be. I thought it would be really cool to ... well, do all of the things involved in the movie Dazed and Confused. (Hint hint: my favorite character was the stoner, you know what I mean?) Once I started high school, I realized that all of that was already going on and I was way behind. I caught up.
I'll go ahead and tell you that high school had it's good points. I loved my teachers (okay, I hated some, but for the most part I loved them) and I ended up being a total geek about schoolwork. I liked to learn new things and plan for my future. That was exciting to me.
I also enjoyed the comfort of seeing the same people every day for four years. I went to fairly small high school (compared to most) and everyone knew each other. I had my people that I couldn't stand or the girls that hated me, but for the most part it was really nice. We all had a lot more in common than we ever would have thought. We also had teachers to help sort through our problems. In the real world, we grow up and move on ... deal with things on our own. Sometimes I miss the simplicity of all of that.
Other than that, I don't really miss much about high school. The list of what I don't miss is about ten miles long. I wont torture you, though. I'll keep it short.
I don't miss the drama. It seemed that I was always fighting with a friend, talking bad about another friend, mooning over some guy, or mad because I got my cell phone taken away for texting. I had a bad attitude, low self esteem, authority problems, and I loved drama. It made for an exhausting life. I should've cared more about acting my age, having fun with friends, getting involved in somethin positive at school, or something productive! (By the way, I was acting my age. I just wanted to pretend that I was wayyy mature for my age. My body might have been mature, but I was definitely a little girl!)
I also don't miss the bad stuff I got into. I don't need to give a whole lot of details; I just did a lot of dumb things. I didn't worry about how it was going to affect my future or my heart later on. I just wanted to "live in the moment" and "have fun with no worries"!
Lastly, I don't miss being lost. I mention my spiritual condition, because it was very present in my life during high school. I tried to play the Christian girl game for a while, but I ended up finding other interesting things to do. & In the meantime, I created my own god and religion. I hated the idea of hell or a God who judges, because I thought I, myself was too good for it. The sad thing is that I was just another sinner convinced I had it all figured out.
So, while I can't say that high school was all bad, it was mostly ... bad. I am glad it's over. I think I would have enjoyed it more if I wasn't so involved in drama or if I was more confident within myself. I think that a girl who honors the Lord with her life as a teenager will find her life to be much more fulfilling and she'll be rewarded. I envy the girls who took good care of themselves and their hearts in high school. I wish I could say that was me.
I sure hope that Constance's high school years are much more positive than mine. I hope she can be one of those girls that I knew who loved the Lord and stood her ground, rather than following the crowd. Maybe God was just preparing me for a daughter by my crazy high school experience ... you never know.
Happy Wednesday! (& Church day for me!)