Fifteen year old me. :)You're still pretty fresh in my mind. A lot of the things that you do still come around sometimes and I wonder - really?! I did that? I liked him?! Yes, you read right. You're making some decisions that you will really regret when you get just a couple of years older. & The guy that you think you're going to convince to love you by being whatever he wants ... he'll find his place in your history as God sends along His best. You'll cringe when you think about how drunk you got in high school or at your first fraternity parties. You'll understand why nobody called you after that. Don't beat yourself up, you're better off. You will learn that you don't know everything and that your plan for life wont go ... well, as planned. Oh, that little redneck town you hate living in? You'll try to get away for awhile, but you'll realize it's home and that there is no place that you'd rather be.
You've got a lot of growing up to do, little girl. You think you know everything and you think you are a grown up, but you've got ways to go. You don't even know how to be a woman yet. I mean, I'm still learning!
The saddest part about you is that you're lost. You don't know Jesus yet. You think you do. You think that because your Daddy used to be a preacher and you were baptised when you were ten makes you a Christian. God is going to shake your core and break your heart. He's got a plan for you, but you have to accept Him first. You'll fight Him for a while, because you're arrogant enough to believe that your good deeds can earn His salvation. You'll learn that acting and living right isn't enough. You'll come to know Him as your Saviour.
I know that you want to find love. I know that's why you hop from guy to guy, that's why you find yourself in intimate situations that are way too much for a girl your age. You want to find the guy that really loves you, although you don't really understand what that means yet. God is preparing him for you right now, believe me. & When it comes to love, he is going to be the one that loves you. He is going to pray for you, cry out to God for you, fight for you, and love you even when his heart tells him he shouldn't. He's going to love you like Jesus does. (Brace yourself, though. You've already given your heart and body to someone else and although you promise yourself you'll never regret it, you will.)
Younger self, there is so much more than what you see right now. You've been taught to live in the moment and follow your heart, but you'll learn the hard way that those are deceitful philosophies. You'll learn that you need to lead your heart. You'll learn that all of the decisions that you are making now will impact you later, although you don't believe that. You'll learn that you will have regrets (I know you always say you have none, but just wait).
Lastly, you'll learn that you are preaching to the wrong people when you tell them they are settling, because you're the one that is. God has a plan much greater for you. You'll be glad when these days are over.