Monday, August 9, 2010

My baby girl ... :)

There she is!

Her ultrasound last Friday was perfect. She is growing wonderfully and is obviously a beautiful little girl! She is also very healthy! I'm kind of weird during ultrasounds; I don't like to cry and fawn over the baby until I know everything is okay. I guess that's just the Momma in me. Her kidneys look great, her heart rate is perfect, my amniotic fluid is good, they say she has a long torso (just like me! oh no, this means it'll be a pain in the butt to find jeans for her when she's a teenager!), and she is practicing her breathing movements. She is also head down, with her feet getting closer and closer to my ribs. Good deal! Her weight is already at a whopping 6 pounds, approximately. The ultrasound technician says if she keeps growing at the expected rate, she'll be 10 pounds by her due date! I must say I was a little freaked by this at first, but I am actually quite excited that my girl is so chunky. I have been tested for gestational diabetes and my bloodwork has come back perfect, so I know nothing is wrong in that department. God has just been really taking care of her! & My weight gain has been for a good cause! :)

I think I have decided my third trimester has been my favorite. My first trimester was terrifying, being a lot to deal with at once. The pregnancy, although planned, was unexpected (we had so many disappointments that we figured the month of January would be no different) and ultimately very overwhleming. I automatically began to learn things about pregnancy that I had no clue about, realizing that there was a lot more to it than just what I saw in movies and on tv. & While I skipped out on morning sickness, I dealt with the constant fear of losing the baby. I heard too many stories about people getting excited over a baby, only to lose them the next day. & Although I had just gotten saved, my relationship with God wasn't doing too well. I wasn't reading my Bible, praying, and I was dealing with A LOT of bitterness toward different people. Let's just put it this way: I wasn't a very happy person during my first trimester. & Please don't say it was the hormones, I think that excuse (I know it's not always an excuse, so please don't attack) is way overused.
My second trimester was a lot better, as my chance for miscarrying went down significantly. I began feeling a lot better as well, as warm weather came in and my moods were lifted. I was still not walking closely with God though, so I was dealing with a lot of negative feelings. I was also having a hard time relating to the baby growing inside of me, especially considering I didn't know her gender and couldn't feel her at first. I loved playing with her nursery, but I still felt very detached from the pregnancy. I also was not showing at all the majority of this trimester, so I sometimes wondered if I was even normal! I also hated the weight gain every week of 1.5lbs, which was extremely hard to deal with.
My third trimester has been pure bliss so far. Everyone warned that it would be my worst! However, my relationship with God has been growing so much since I have really been spending time in His Word and praying. As a result of that, many of the things I have dealt with early on in pregnancy have improved. I have become more confident in God and the fact that He will provide, along with believing that He will give me grace in parenthood just as He has in marriage and pregnancy. I am also coming to terms with my weight gain, which I have spent the majority of my time complaining about. I love my body and the way God designed it to nourish my sweet girl. I am finally showing, although not very big, and I love the look on people's faces when they see my pregnant belly. I feel Constance move quite a bit, which helps me to know she's doing good in there. & I am anticipating her arrival. I am almost at the finish line and four weeks away from being full term. She is almost here! The fact that I am about to have a baby girl to take care of and that our little family of two is about to become three is becoming very real to me. I love that feeling and I intend to soak up every second of it until it is time for her to come.
So yes, I do love being pregnant. & I do love the dreaded third trimester the most, even in this terrible heat which I basically have done all things to avoid.

& What do I look forward to most? I look forward to all of the changes and how we'll have to rearrange to make a place for her. I look forward to nursing her and continuing to allow my body to nourish her, something no one else can share with her. I look forward to reading Bible stories, although she may not understand them. I look forward to life being crazy and all over the place, as we'll be trying to make sense of the newness in our lives. I look forward to Josh being off of work for four weeks, where we can spend time together and learn to function as a family of three. I look forward to late nights, if that's the kind of baby she'll be. & I look forward to continuing my relationship with God in this crazy time that could throw me off course, although I am going to refuse to allow it to. (I know all of those sermons that Bro. Waters has been preaching about staying in the race have been for me!) I look forward to seeking Him and utilizing His wisdom that He so freely gives. & Ultimately, I just look forward to meeting her and watching her begin her precious life. :)

Ah, my sweet girl has seven weeks until her due date. & Only four until they say she is full term. She's coming soon and I am so ready. Okay, as ready as you can be!

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Thanks for reading my post! & God bless! :)