17 weeks and one day

Saturday night I began feeling what some people call "flutters" or movements of the baby. It was nothing like I had imagined it to be, so I figured something was wrong! It felt like a fizzy soda in my lower abdomen, or a cell phone vibrating. It was so weird. But according to google and my friends who have been pregnant before, the baby is certainly moving. With that said, I feel these movements about every minute or so - sometimes more often than that. I can't wait to see our acrobat via ultrasound.

"How My Breasts Saved The World" has been a real reality check for me when it comes to breastfeeding and childbirth in general. I've realized I want all of the information I can get so I can be prepared - at least in head knowledge. We've decided to take a prenatal series at our hospital, which is free, along with a basic childbirth preparation (since I do not plan to go natural), and a breastfeeding class. I think we'll have a lot of fun, but most importantly, we're going to learn something. I am determined to breastfeed and I know I am more likely to do it if I know what I am doing!

I keep having fears that something is either a.) wrong with the baby or b.) something will go wrong with my pregnancy. I read way too many women's experiences on the bump and for the most part, I try to stick to posts about baby names and bedding. Sometimes, however, I get curious. & Then I feel heartbroken for different people and thennn I start to think - could that happen to me? Thankfully my risk of miscarriage is way down now that I am in my second trimester. I just want next Monday to get here ASAP. I want to know the baby is developing properly and that I am just being crazy. Finding out the sex, while being one of the more exciting and positive factors of the anatomy scan, is the least of my worries. I try to drown my bad thoughts with my excitement, but I can't help but be a little scared. Oh well. I love being pregnant and I can feel my baby move. I am going to enjoy my week of blissful ignorance and just soak it up. God knows what's up. & I believe that by His grace, not mine, I can get through anything He sends my way.