Wednesday evening we were expecting some bad storms to come through our area. These same storms had produced tornadoes in surrounding areas and I was beginning to get a little nervous. I used to not be afraid of tornadoes, as I thought they were kind of cool and they always seem to go around our town anyway. However, with this past year's weather craziness and having a baby to protect, I have been very on edge about it. Wednesday night was no different.
Joshua came up with a safety plan a few hours in advance just so the both of us would know what to do. Rather than just trusting him and going along, I decided to argue every single idea he had. I was scared and sometimes a lot of arguing can come along with my fear. He could sense that I was panicking, because I was so freaked about what the weather people were saying. He told me I needed to calm down and just listen to what he was saying in order to keep myself safe. Needless to say, we argued about a lot of really dumb junk on Wednesday. The majority of it didn't even have to do with the storm once we got down to it. I just felt like nit-picking and arguing every little point.
I have a history of brawling with my husband. I'll go ahead and say we don't fight nearly the way we used to, especially now that we are a little older and figuring things out. However, when we first got married? I wanted to fight about every little thing. Any time he made a decision, I wanted to find a reason to argue it. I'd manipulate him so he would step down. Feminine wiles, anyone? We had a lot of drama starting out ... and it was normally just over something silly like that. He'd want to make a decision and I'd fight him all the way through on it.
He eventually just told me he was doing things whether I liked it or not, which was the best way to go in the end. But this post isn't about how to deal with your brawling wife ... especially considering I don't have a wife and never will. Ha ha.
It's interesting what the Bible says about brawling women. I was reading the verse this morning and it was actually kind of humorous and sad at the same time.
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. Proverbs 21:9
Ouch?! It is better to be in a corner, all claustrophobic and closed up than to be in a wide house (spacious, room to breathe) with a brawling woman? I bet I can guess why that is! It drives men crazy! (And not in a good way, either.) The Bible says that the woman is to submit to her husband and reverence him. That isn't to say she just has no say or input on decisions. I believe the man should take her feelings and ideas into consideration. A submissive wife is not a voiceless wife. However, arguing and causing issues isn't good for the man. He can't be the man he's supposed to be if the woman isn't being who she is supposed to be. Well, I take that back. A man can be who he is supposed to be, he just has a much harder time with it.
Proverbs 31:12 says that the virtuous woman will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
We obviously all fall short of this wonderful woman described in Proverbs 31, but she should still be our goal and standard. What would it mean to do evil against our husband? Manipulate him? Tear him down? Fight him on every decision he makes? Show him that we don't trust him or his leadership by doing all of these things?
I'll tell you. Sometimes I think I definitely take for granted just what my husband goes through for our family. He has to make decisions that are very hard sometimes. He has to deal with the weight and pressure of providing for our family and protecting us. Sometimes I like to think that my husband is made of steel and that he can handle anything, but he isn't. He needs my support and he needs my backing. A brawling attitude, arguing every decision ... it does nothing but tear all of those things down. It makes it hard for him to stand when he knows he really needs to.
I heard in a movie once that a man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck. It's got to be true. Us women have to support our husbands and trust them. It's good for them and it's good for us, believe it or not.
It is also good for our children, who are watching our examples. If our daughter sees me talking back to my husband when he has made a decision, that is telling her to talk back to him when he does the same with her. It is teaching her that disrespecting authority is okay.
The way a woman carries herself in her marriage and home is really what keeps it all together. I believe a brawling woman is a home divider, because there is no unity or peace.
Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1
Oh and the storms that came through did end up weaking and we are safe. We actually just ended up hanging out in a friend's basement eating Doritos as we waited for the storm to pass. :)