Friday, May 27, 2011

Brawling wife?

Wednesday evening we were expecting some bad storms to come through our area. These same storms had produced tornadoes in surrounding areas and I was beginning to get a little nervous. I used to not be afraid of tornadoes, as I thought they were kind of cool and they always seem to go around our town anyway. However, with this past year's weather craziness and having a baby to protect, I have been very on edge about it. Wednesday night was no different.
Joshua came up with a safety plan a few hours in advance just so the both of us would know what to do. Rather than just trusting him and going along, I decided to argue every single idea he had. I was scared and sometimes a lot of arguing can come along with my fear. He could sense that I was panicking, because I was so freaked about what the weather people were saying. He told me I needed to calm down and just listen to what he was saying in order to keep myself safe. Needless to say, we argued about a lot of really dumb junk on Wednesday. The majority of it didn't even have to do with the storm once we got down to it. I just felt like nit-picking and arguing every little point.

I have a history of brawling with my husband. I'll go ahead and say we don't fight nearly the way we used to, especially now that we are a little older and figuring things out. However, when we first got married? I wanted to fight about every little thing. Any time he made a decision, I wanted to find a reason to argue it. I'd manipulate him so he would step down. Feminine wiles, anyone? We had a lot of drama starting out ... and it was normally just over something silly like that. He'd want to make a decision and I'd fight him all the way through on it.

He eventually just told me he was doing things whether I liked it or not, which was the best way to go in the end. But this post isn't about how to deal with your brawling wife ... especially considering I don't have a wife and never will. Ha ha.

It's interesting what the Bible says about brawling women. I was reading the verse this morning and it was actually kind of humorous and sad at the same time.
It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. Proverbs 21:9
Ouch?! It is better to be in a corner, all claustrophobic and closed up than to be in a wide house (spacious, room to breathe) with a brawling woman? I bet I can guess why that is! It drives men crazy! (And not in a good way, either.) The Bible says that the woman is to submit to her husband and reverence him. That isn't to say she just has no say or input on decisions. I believe the man should take her feelings and ideas into consideration. A submissive wife is not a voiceless wife. However, arguing and causing issues isn't good for the man. He can't be the man he's supposed to be if the woman isn't being who she is supposed to be. Well, I take that back. A man can be who he is supposed to be, he just has a much harder time with it.

Proverbs 31:12 says that the virtuous woman will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

We obviously all fall short of this wonderful woman described in Proverbs 31, but she should still be our goal and standard. What would it mean to do evil against our husband? Manipulate him? Tear him down? Fight him on every decision he makes? Show him that we don't trust him or his leadership by doing all of these things?

I'll tell you. Sometimes I think I definitely take for granted just what my husband goes through for our family. He has to make decisions that are very hard sometimes. He has to deal with the weight and pressure of providing for our family and protecting us. Sometimes I like to think that my husband is made of steel and that he can handle anything, but he isn't. He needs my support and he needs my backing. A brawling attitude, arguing every decision ... it does nothing but tear all of those things down. It makes it hard for him to stand when he knows he really needs to.

I heard in a movie once that a man is the head of the house, but the woman is the neck. It's got to be true. Us women have to support our husbands and trust them. It's good for them and it's good for us, believe it or not.

It is also good for our children, who are watching our examples. If our daughter sees me talking back to my husband when he has made a decision, that is telling her to talk back to him when he does the same with her. It is teaching her that disrespecting authority is okay.

The way a woman carries herself in her marriage and home is really what keeps it all together. I believe a brawling woman is a home divider, because there is no unity or peace.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1

Oh and the storms that came through did end up weaking and we are safe. We actually just ended up hanging out in a friend's basement eating Doritos as we waited for the storm to pass. :)


  1. Interesting post and so very true. Just what I needed to hear today, believe it or not. But lets also not forget that it is a lot easier for the woman to trust and support a husband who is loving (loves her as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it). When a husband takes his wife's opinion seriously and listens to what she has to say, she will be much more likely to trust his decisions and support him. In turn he will be more loving towards her. It is a cycle that goes around. It does not, however, give us an excuse to be a brawling woman. We will never win their love that way. Just a thought. Can't let the men off too easy. :D Sometimes they can get that "cave man" attitude and act as though our opinion isn't merited. A good family unit will function with love towards each other and respect for one another. Which is what you said above. Good, insightful blog! :)

  2. I am so glad to hear that y'all are safe. I know how terrifying the storms can be. It's been a month today since tornadoes ripped through our little town in southeast TN. My parents are starting to re-build their house next week. Thankfully my house only has minor damage but my parents are having to rebuild. My son's best friend lost everything. He & his family were in their basement when an EF5 tornado tore through the subdivision (Willbrook in Cleveland, TN). His Mom & I are great friends & she was telling me that the only thing that went through her mind was "Please God don't let it hurt my kids. Take me but please save my boys." I completely understand because I would feel the same way. My son (Tanner) told Tripp (his best friend) that his house can be rebuilt, clothes can be replaced, but we could never, not in a milion years, replace him or his family. And that is so true. I am so glad that God made my parents decided to go out to eat the night of April 27. Had they not listened to that little voice, they would have been home & may have been killed. Same with my aunt & uncle. My aunt, after the first two rounds of storms, told my uncle she really felt like they needed to go check on one of their rental properties to make sure there was no damage. My uncle finally said "Ok, Paula. If it will make you feel better, we'll go." They couldn't get back to their house (or what was left of it) until the next day due to trees & powerlines down. God is amazing. I work in EMS & while I love my job, it has been extremely taxing this last month. I've had a lot of sleepless nights, and more than a few nightmares about what I've seen, & what I've been through. But I know that God is helping me cope with it all, and I know that this is exactly where I'm suppose to be. There was nothing better than finding a young boy alive & being able to pull him out & get him back to his parents. THAT is what makes my job & all the tragedy, drama, & stress worth it!
    I know that my Mom is the most amazing woman I know & I have been able to show her just how wonderful of a job she did raising me. My mom has always been there for me & supported me no matter what I have put her through & now it is my turn to be there for her.
    You sound as if you have a great head on your shoulders & that beautiful little girl of yours is very lucky to have parents like y'all.
    Again, I am so glad to hear that everyone is ok. Y'all are in my prayers always, even though we don't actually know each other.
    Have a wonderful & blessed day.



Thanks for reading my post! & God bless! :)