Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Sinking Sand

Here are my pregnancy whines for the day: I am getting fat, I am gaining too much weight, my body is hideous with all of it's lumps and nasty cellulite, I eat too many sweets, and I will never look the same again. Being pregnant is so hard!

Okay, before I go any further, I do realize that I need a reality check. I am letting these negative and false thoughts invade my mind and defeat me. I let these thoughts and how I seem to look to myself define who I am and my feelings. That's really sad when we're depending on things so shallow and fleeting for our happiness.
There came a time right after I turned eighteen that I realized I wouldn't be young forever. My skin would wrinkle someday, my body would change, and my perfect hair would gray. I had an even scarier realization that at any time my body could be taken from me (I thought of the innocent girl who was burned and forever terribly scarred in a drunk driving accident). I've come to realize that this body isn't forever, that it will age, and that I may not have everything I like so much about it someday. If I am depending on how I look to be happy, I am putting my hopes in sinking sand.
"My flesh and heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." - Psalm 73:26
We all have our things that we look to in order to be happy and eventually we realize that it will fail us. Mine is definitely my body, always has been. & It has been a constant battle of depression and defeat. However, when I put my hope in the Lord, who never changes and who never fails, things begin to change. My body is ever changing and it is not promised to be the same tomorrow. The Bible says that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:18). It says that He will never leave or forsake us (Heb. 13:5). Sounds a lot better than our earthly desires and hopes, doesn't it? If I put my hope and faith into people, my job, my money, my things - it'll eventually fail me. God is the only true source of strength and joy. God is the only hope.

Now, I am not saying this means that we shouldn't care about how we look or stop taking care of our bodies. God calls us to be good stewards of our bodies and I believe gluttony is indeed a sin. However, if we're not exactly where we want to be and we don't look like the world tells us to, we shouldn't let that define our happiness. We ought to make goals for ourselves, try to change it, be thankful for everything in our lives (Bible commands us to be thankful plenty of times; it's there for a reason!), and ask God for strength.

I'm really just writing to myself here, because this was all taken from a journal entry I made in my prayer journal just about an hour ago. This realization is a big one for me, because probably since puberty I have hated my body and have allowed my hate for my body to defeat me in every single way. Maybe someone else has the same issue. It may not be with their body; maybe it's with something else. Just remember that all other ground is sinking sand and God is the only firm Rock we can stand on.

1 comment:

  1. ::hugs::

    Pregnancy is a beautiful thing! You look beautiful and your body is beautiful! Try not to let it get you down!


Thanks for reading my post! & God bless! :)