Friday, May 6, 2011

Dear Constance,

Lately I have been missing the days when you were a newborn. Don't get me wrong. I love love LOVE your developing personality and how much you've grown! I just feel like those few short moments of your newborn days weren't enjoyed enough. I'm sure every Momma feels that way, though! Thankfully, I have plenty of wonderful memories and pictures to look back on.
I was so nervous the first time I held you. Your Daddy was holding you for the first time and I was anxious as I realized he was going to hand you over to me. However, once you were in my arms ... it felt natural for you to be there.

I was heartbroken when they told me that they believed something was wrong with you and that they needed to keep you for further testing. I was scared to death. Thankfully, Jesus gave me sweet peace to endure and stand strong for you. Your week long hospital stay was one of the worst weeks of my life, but it was also one of the sweetest times. Your Daddy and I would get all dressed up to go see you so we could spend an afternoon/evening with you. I'd nurse you, hold you, love on you, and tell Daddy just how beautiful you were.

Once we got to bring you home, the fun began! You seemed so huge compared to the other babies in the hospital (they were little babies born early), but when we set you down in the kitchen for the first time ... we realized just how tiny you really were.

I miss my early days of breastfeeding you ... which were definitely a trial within itself. However, I believe that choosing to nurse even through difficult times kept me from getting depressed! I had to make myself keep going just for you.

I also miss how much you slept! I wont complain ... you sleep pretty great even now! Buuuut, you used to sleep almost all of the time when you were a little newborn!

I miss your bouncer. I suppose you could still fit in it now ... but you'd rather play in it. This thing was a lifesaver when you were a newborn. All we had to do was barely bounce it with our feet and you'd fall right back asleep. Ahhh ... so easy!

Your first smiles ... they came rarely, but they warmed my heart. :) They've only gotten more beautiful with time. (And more teeth - you're working on four right now!)

But, don't think I do not love the age you are now. I love your crazy smile or even the horrible grunting noise you make when you're throwing a little fit. You are so much fun and I just adore you. :) I'll just always miss those first few days we had together as a little family.


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Thanks for reading my post! & God bless! :)